We live in a VUCA world. Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous. Every day there are new difficulties to face. Economic turbulence, political upheaval, global instability and a myriad of personal and professional issues. At times it can feel overwhelming. To move forward in trying times, we must accept that life does not get easier or more forgiving. We get stronger and more resilient.
Resilience is the ability to adapt, recover and bounce back from adversity or challenges while maintaining or regaining mental, emotional and physical well-being. If you sometimes struggle to overcome hardships and adversity, here are a few practical tools to help you be more resilient.
Are You Telling the Story?
Some people are great at catastrophizing. A simple problem becomes seemingly insurmountable. They tell themselves that the situation is terrible, will get worse, will last a long time, will affect all their lives negatively and it is their fault.
This is a bad story to tell yourself.
To overcome this distressful plot, simply ask yourself these questions. How bad is it, really? How long will it truly last? What parts of my life will this actually impact? Is this really my fault?
In almost all cases the answers put things into a much more manageable perspective. Also, if you are going to tell yourself a story, why not tell yourself a good one?
Reframe Setbacks as an Opportunity for Growth
Think of a time that you failed at something and it turned out to be a blessing. I failed college on the first try. It was humiliating. However, on the second try, I graduated in the top four in the United States in my major and went on to have a flourishing career.
Had I not gotten kicked out of the first school, I would not be where I am today. That fortunate failure led to my eventual success. When has failure turned out to be your friend?
Cultivate a Belief in Your Ability to Cope
On August 24, 1992, hurricane Andrew ravaged South Florida. I lived in Miami. On the water. I lost everything.
I had to live in my truck for three months and then in a badly damaged, abandoned apartment. It was miserable. Looking back on that experience, I see it as one of the best things that ever happened to me. It taught me to put my head down and deal with whatever comes my way.
Today, when something daunting appears, I think, “If I could make it through hurricane Andrew, I can make it through this too.” What challenges have you had to overcome in your life that you can draw strength and resilience from?
Focus On Events You Can Control
One of the most powerful skills you can acquire is the ability to discern what you can control, take massive action on it and then let go of the rest. The list of things you can control is finite and manageable.
- Your thoughts and beliefs
- Your attitude and outlook on life
- Your emotions and how you react to them
- Your actions and behaviors
- Your communication and language use
- Your habits and routines
- Your finances and budgeting
- Your personal and professional development
- Your relationships and social interactions
- Your environment and surroundings
- Your goals and aspirations
- Your time management and productivity
- Your spiritual or religious practices
Essentially, you can control your behavior and how you react.
On the other hand, the list of things you cannot control is very long. At the top of it is other people. The ability to focus on what you can control, and let go of what you cannot, is a superpower.
We all face challenges in our lives. Problems arise. We are treated unfairly. We stumble and fall. Things do not go as planned. When these things happen to you, be strong. Remember that you have encountered difficulties before and have overcome them. With grit, determination and resilience, you can handle whatever life might throw your way.