Raising resilient children is an essential part of parenting. Resilience is the capacity to cope with stress and disappointment, a quality that can be taught and developed in children.
A resilient child can better handle life’s curveballs and use them as opportunities to grow and learn.
According to Joseph Lutz, a third-degree black belt and coach at Okito America Martial Arts, cultivating resiliency in children is crucial to their success in life –– and it starts young.
Okito America was founded in 2007 by Orlando Millan, a retired special forces and fourth-degree black belt. The vision for his martial arts school is to improve the lives of families in Greater Gainesville by introducing them to the arts of Tae Kwon Do, Kickboxing and Self-Defense.
Lutz was timid as a young boy, avoiding social interactions with others. Under the tutelage of Orlando Millan, the owner and founder of Okito America, Lutz said his confidence grew and it “changed everything for him.” He now teaches his own students that goal setting for even the smallest objectives can help build resiliency and determination.
Ten activities can build resiliency in children:
- Talk About Feelings: Talking openly with children about their emotions helps them understand that it is normal to feel different ways, especially when faced with difficult situations. Make sure to validate their feelings and give them strategies for managing their emotions.
- Set Goals and Celebrate Successes: Encourage children to set realistic goals and help create a plan for achieving them. Celebrate successes and encourage them to keep going even when things get tough.
- Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is being aware and present in the moment. Teaching children mindfulness can help them better manage their emotions and handle stress.
- Teach Problem-Solving: Problem-solving is a skill that can help children better work through stressful situations. Encourage children to break a problem into smaller pieces and devise creative solutions.
- Encourage Self-Care: Self-care is essential for maintaining emotional and physical well-being. Practicing healthy self-care, such as eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep and exercising, helps children become responsible for their overall health.
- Encourage Gratitude: Practicing gratitude helps build resilience by focusing on the positive. Teaching children to be grateful for the things they have, instead of focusing on what they do not, helps create compassion.
- Provide Support and Guidance: Resilient children need supportive relationships to help them through difficult times. Ensuring that children know they can always count on an adult or caregiver for guidance and support helps them develop coping skills.
- Model Resilience: Show children how to handle difficult situations with grace and determination. Sharing experiences and stories of perseverance and overcoming challenges builds a bridge of learned experiences on which children can reflect.
- Foster Independence: Resilient children learn to rely on themselves in difficult situations. Children should take on new challenges and make decisions independently.
- Nurture a Growth Mindset: A growth mindset means believing everyone can learn and grow, no matter what. Teach children to be open to feedback and never give up.
Lutz feels these types of activities help children see the positive impact they can have on their own lives. Each step to resiliency takes communication and a good attitude to achieve the goal –– and children can achieve anything when given the proper tools.
Community Businesses That Build Resiliency
Wildflowers Yoga– meditation and mindfulness
Okito America Martial Arts – kids and teens martial arts programs
Kidstrong Gainesville – a milestone accelerator for kids walking through 11 years old
Flip Factory Zone – Ninja Warrior Training Program, Little Ninjas
By Deborah Holmén, M.Ed., NBCT.