Gainesville abounds with copious amounts of students and young professionals seeking their paths in life; therefore, there is little wonder why so many individuals find their mates here and make vows until “death do us part.”
In order to ensure that couples, old or young, have the tools to make their marriage prosperous, the Alachua County Extension Office is offering a two-session seminar several times throughout the fall. Participants are encouraged to attend “Before You Tie the Knot” to increase communication, help with conflicts, and talk about finances and parenting.
Brenda Williams has been teaching the class for 10 years and has seen over 400 couples go through the seminar.
“At first, I noticed that the female of the group would encourage the male to come with her,” said Williams, ACEO family and consumer sciences extension agent. “Then, when the male began to interact and engage in the class, I would have to tell him that we had more information to cover and we had to move on.”
Couples have confided in Williams that they found the free course to be extremely beneficial and recommend that others come and join.
“Word of mouth has been some of our best advertising,” Williams said.
The couples that attend both sessions will be given a discount of $32.50 on their marriage license and will also be better equipped with the right skills to begin life as a married couple.
“The first night, we introduce communication skills and talk about conflict management,” Williams said. “It’s very rare to find two people who consistently agree on everything. We want them to find a solution that feels like a win-win to both parties.”
By learning to utilize and groom their communication skills, couples can identify more areas that they need to talk about and work through.
Child rearing and parenting is touched on briefly. Hopefully, an in-depth conversation between the couple starts after being given points to think about such as if they both want children, if one parent will stay home or even the child disciplining process. Some couples that attend already have children, but getting them to talk about their concept of child rearing is helpful for communication and marriage success.
On the second night, couples delve into the heavy topic: finances. Using the communication skills from the first class, future brides and grooms can learn more about potential hazards and the financial situation they will create for themselves as newlyweds.
In order to keep the mood light and entertaining, Williams structures the class to be “a pleasant and informative experience.”
“At some points in the class, we play a version of the newlywed game. This is one of the most fun things because group dynamics are different every time,” Williams said.
The classes are taught so that even participants entering their second or third marriages can still glean instruction and wisdom from the material. Divorce rates are still high, and the Alachua County Extension Office hopes that this class can make a dent in those statistics by providing the tools needed for success.
“We try to hit the high points on topics and pique interest,” Williams said.
If couples’ interests are peaked for further instruction about finances and communication, the ACEO staff points to resources through their office, in the library and on some reputable websites for further information.
“At this time, we don’t have a follow-up to the pre-marriage class,” Williams said. “We encourage them to come to other more specific classes if they have other questions. But in a few years, I anticipate successive classes to increase skills post marriage.”
Overall, “Before You Tie the Knot” will prepare couples for a strong marriage with no loose threads.
“We know the couple is in love, but we need them to talk about things,” Williams said. “Our techniques will work if employed.”