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Getting Schooled: Greater Gainesville’s Teachers Share Their Funniest Classroom Moments

Getting Schooled: Greater Gainesville’s Teachers Share Their Funniest Classroom Moments

Sorry Alice Cooper, the season of syllabi and back to school circulars is here.

Florida’s hardworking educators love what they do. Years of schooling, decades of experience and countless hours of working overtime have all been spent inspiring the minds of the thousands of children they see each year. It is not all fun and games…except sometimes when it is.

Kids are funny. A classroom full of them can be unpredictable. These teachers on the frontlines prepare for battle each day, unsure of what silliness or misadventures they may encounter at any moment. Presented below are the accounts of several Greater Gainesville educators, highlighting some of the zaniest, silliest, most embarrassing moments of their tenured careers.

Use Your Head

DeeDee Warner has been at Lawton Chiles Elementary School since 2001. A seasoned veteran of the classroom, Warner, who is currently a Behavioral Resource Teacher, has seen and experienced almost everything. Her first story is an excellent parable about leading by example.

“One of the things I helped manage was arrivals and dismissals. I’m constantly telling kids ‘No running’, ‘Use walking feet!’ So, one time, out at the buses, one of them started to pull off. I could see two kids running around the corner. They were going to miss their bus, and I took off running to catch their bus. I was looking to my left as I’m running, and run smack into a pole, giving myself a goose egg. For the next several days, I went around saying, ‘See, this is why I tell you to walk.’”


Sticks and Stones

Her second story recounts some of the highlights of her children’s creative name-calling abilities.

“Years ago, when I was teaching at Idylwild [Elementary School in GG], I had a little boy who would, when he would get really really mad at me, would insult me. What I appreciated is that he never used profanity. My favorite insult from him, is he would call me a ‘bald-headed mosquito with gold fake earrings.’ My family’s new favorite insult was from a kindergartener who called me a ‘fat Dorito.’”

Despite the unwelcome nicknames, Warner loves what she does.

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Slither Me Timbers

Another area teacher, who wished to remain anonymous, shared her story of the cruel and sometimes creepy-crawly nature of the circle of life.

“A little girl brought a snake in her backpack. She told me her brother had played a trick on her and put the snake in her bag. And, of course, I’m thinking rubber snake, snake toy. I asked her if it was alive, and she said no. I asked if it was a toy, and she said no. Then I asked if it was alive, and she said yes, and now it’s dead. She pulls it out of her backpack, and I am flipping out –– I do not love snakes. It was a dead King snake in a plastic baggie. Come to find out, she put it in her backpack herself because she wanted to show it to me because she was interested in the coloring of the snake. You know –– a picture would’ve been fine.”

For these teachers, and the many others with thousands of similar stories, summer break may not have been long enough.

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